Dette blir på engelsk fordi jeg poster det flere steder, beklager for det.
Sometimes, I am a really shitty friend… and it hurts so bad.
I don’t intend to, but sometimes it happens.
Usually I consider myself a good friend, availible, kind and at the same time just. I have my flaws, of course, I am full of morals and friend codes for what is expected of close friends and so on, and some times I’m needy, sounding desperate to be with my friends.
Lately, I’ve been forgetting a lot of things, or not seeing the bigger picture. Because of that I’ve acted rashly, either doing things or made decisions I would come to regret, fast. And it hurts, oh god does it hurt.
I forget that some people have alot on their plate right now, or are tired and maybe not thinking straight. Some have everything at once, but because I don’t think before I act, I fuck up.
It takes such a long time before I get over it, like I want to be this super awesome person who never make mistakes, and never push people away. But people make mistakes, it’s what makes them human, and I know I forgive alot more than I should, do I not think my friends are capable of the same? Do I think myself to be better than them? Hell no, or maybe, I know I sometimes am known to be über-righteous and I friggin’ hate it.
How can I change? How can I become more relaxed with what people do? How can I teach myself to know when I can do/say things and when I can’t? How can I remember the state people are in, and stop myself from doing stupid things?
I don’t know, but what I do know is that it will take time, effort, and practice.
I am sorry.
du er menneske 🙂 aksepter det og ta det med ro :3
hihi!: Er klar over min artstilhørighet, men ikke akseptert at det ligger i vår natur :-p